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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25634101">The Life He Wanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewishDavidJacobs/pseuds/JewishDavidJacobs'>JewishDavidJacobs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>On a Subway Platform [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:41:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25634101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewishDavidJacobs/pseuds/JewishDavidJacobs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>David has a bad day and Jack is scared of messing up. As always, they’re there for each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>David Jacobs/Jack Kelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>On a Subway Platform [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841677</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Life He Wanted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>  David was having the shittiest of days. First, he’d spilt hot coffee on himself on the way to class; second, his professor had eviscerated his paper and his average had gone down half a letter grade; third, his boss had yelled at him for something that wasn’t his fault; fourth, his tips had been lousy and he wasn’t going to be able to contribute as much as he wanted to again. He just wanted to take a hot shower and go to sleep. Unfortunately, he had homework to do for class and paperwork to fill out for his daughter’s school (that had been due three days ago, but whatever).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He heard the sound of Chava giggling as he unlocked the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Daddy!” she screamed when he entered. She was sitting on the kitchen counter or else he was sure she would have run to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He put on a fake smile and put his stuff down before going to her. “Hey, flower. How was your day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Good!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Hey, baby,” his husband said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Hey, Jacky. How was your day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Better than yours. You look like sh– crap. You look like crap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  His smile became harder to keep up. “Long day.” Jack knew him so well. If Chava hadn’t been there he would’ve collapsed into his arms and sunk into the comfort of him rubbing his back and whispering reassurances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack took his coat off for him and went to hang it up next to his and Chava’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Sit down. Chava and I will bring you dinner, right, Chava?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  She nodded. “Right! We made homemade pizza.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “That’s great, flower. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He went to the dining room table, trying to figure out how he’d keep up conversation throughout dinner without crying. He heard Jack whisper something to Chava. She came over with his plate and Jack brought him a glass of water. His daughter went on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I’m going to get pajamas on,” she said. “Love you, Daddy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  She skipped away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “How’d you manage that?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I told her you’d be happy if she got ready for bed without being asked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Doesn’t that mean she was asked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Not by you. Eat, baby. I know you’re hungry. I’m sorry we ate without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David shook his head. “It’s eight thirty; I’d be upset if you hadn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He took a bite and held back a moan. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast and he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he took a bite of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Is it good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Delicious, though I’d eat cardboard at this point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack stood behind him and put hands on his shoulders, starting to massage. He couldn’t hold back the moan that time. “Jacky…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yeah, baby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You don’t have to do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “And what if I want to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He didn’t answer, just kept eating. His husband continued to rub his shoulders as he did. He almost fell asleep several times throughout his meal, but Jack would chuckle and remind him that he needed to eat. When he finished, he leaned back in the chair and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You’re welcome. How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David grunted in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “That good, huh? What do you want to do right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I want to put her to bed and take a hot shower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Mind if I join you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “For which part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Not at all. Is it Friday yet?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “No, but soon. One more full day until it. What’s your schedule tomorrow?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Classes at nine and twelve. I’ll do the grocery shopping in between. I work one to six.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack kissed the top of his head. “Okay. We’ve really gotta talk about this. You’re going to wear yourself out. I can–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I know, but just…not tonight, okay? I don’t have it in me tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Okay,” Jack replied softly. “Another time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  They cleaned up and walked to Chava’s room holding hands. David didn’t think Jack had registered taking his hand. It came so naturally to them. It felt like home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David was always a little giddy when he thought about how his husband could still make his heart skip a beat. He’d heard his whole life — both from people he’d known and from characters on television — that marriage sometimes meant the end of a lot of romantic aspects of a relationship. That wasn’t true for them. They were just as in love as they’d been when they were dating — more, actually. Every day, David fell more and more in love with his husband, even though he always thought it was impossible. It felt like he loved him more than anybody could possibly love anybody else and yet, somehow, his love increased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  They were still romantic with each other. Sure, their relationship was a lot more comfortable and they had routine, but that didn’t mean David didn’t ever get woken up with breakfast in bed or that Jack didn’t ever come home to candles, flowers, and one of his favorite meals. At least once a week David would wake up and look at his husband, only to get butterflies in his stomach. If Jack was ever up first, David’s wake up call was a kiss. He woke up Jack the same way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Their friends made fun of how often they touched each other. It was rare that they weren’t at least holding hands. Jack would just tell them to stop acting jealous and get a love life of their own. They would all laugh and nobody would comment for the next fifteen minutes, until one of their heads inevitably ended up on the other one’s shoulder, and the teasing began anew. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Chava, aniołku? Are you ready for bed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yep! I brushed my teeth and everything!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David smiled — genuinely this time — and picked her up. “Good girl. Thank you for making dinner for me and for being so responsible. I’m very proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  She beamed. “I’m a big girl now. I can do things all by myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yes, you can.” He kissed her forehead. “Just remember, you don’t always have to. Jack and I are always here to help you. Right, Jack?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Right. Always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack pulled back her covers and David placed her down. “Okay, aniołku. What book do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>“Roxaboxen,</span>
  </em>
  <span> please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Good choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David read to his daughter and husband. It was a story that made him a little emotional each time he read it. He thought about his childhood and the places he and Sarah would play back in Poland. He wondered how different they looked now. He wondered if he would ever go back. He wondered if Jack would be with him if he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Chava was dozing off by the end of the story. He kissed her temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Good night, flower,” he whispered. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Good night, Daddy. I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack led him through their bedroom, into their bathroom, and turned on the shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I can’t believe how easy that was,” he said, his hand under the water to feel the temperature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Like she said,” David replied, getting undressed, “she’s a big girl now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Ugh, don’t say that, Dave. I don’t want to hear it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Hey, you weren’t around when she started walking and talking. All I wanted was for her to stay a baby.” He followed Jack into the water. “She’ll always be my baby, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Still.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He let himself be pulled into a hug. Jack kissed his forehead, then his nose, then his lips. He closed his eyes. No matter how bad his day was, he could always come home to Jack’s love. It sounded cheesy, even in his head, but it was true. He turned around and leaned back against his husband.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Want to tell me about your long day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David heard a cap snap open and then closed, and felt Jack’s shampoo-covered hands in his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Mm, thanks, Jacky. You don’t have to do that for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Shut up and let me take care of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He chuckled, though he was verklempt. It didn’t help when Jack started gently scratching his scalp as he went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “So tell me about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “It was awful,” David began. “I had extra time before class and I’d finished the one I’d made so I stopped for a coffee and on the way out the door, someone wasn’t paying attention and bumped into me. It got all over my shirt and it was hot as hell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yeah, it wasn’t hot enough to burn, thankfully, but it didn’t feel that way in the moment. Then my Arabic professor gave back our papers and I got a D.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “What? Why? You’re fluent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “It wasn’t that. The paper was in English, but he said my conclusion was unfounded and that I didn’t support it well and…I don’t know.” He sighed. “So my A minus is now a B and I need at least an A on my final to bring it back up. I’ll need an A plus to make it an A. He never likes anything I write, so unless it’s entirely Arabic and not theory questions or whatever, I’m screwed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack tilted his head back and used a brush to aid the cascading water in getting all the shampoo out. He remained quiet, his calming presence forcing David to relax at least a little. He put the conditioner in David’s hair, but not before squeezing his shoulder in sympathy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I’m sorry, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “And then Michael screamed at me for screwing up a bunch of orders even though it was Markus’ fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Why didn’t he yell at Markus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Because Markus is a fucking liar who pinned the blame on me and Michael already doesn’t like me, so he believed him. He yelled at me for so long that the three tables I was serving at the time all gave really shitty tips and then he made me bus tables for the rest of the night. Rachael took my tables and she tried to share some of her tips with me, but that wouldn’t be fair, you know? It’s not her fault Michael and Markus are assholes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Mm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Sorry, I’m rambling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You’re not. I asked and I always want to hear about your day. I’m sorry that happened to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David sighed and listened to the falling water for a moment. Water falling was his favorite sound. It grounded him. His favorite place to be was curled up under a blanket on the couch, Chava in his lap and Jack at his side, listening to the rain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Thanks. And thanks for taking care of me. Both of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Course, Davey, it’s my job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Still, I appreciate it. You go above and beyond for me and for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “How many times do I have to tell you there’s no such thing? You guys are my life and I’m there for you just like you’re there for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  After their shower, they curled up on the couch to watch the news.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “It’s never going to pass,” David commented on a story about a bill. “Not in the Senate, at least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yeah,” Jack replied. He was staring at David and playing with his hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “They’re just doing it for show.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You’re not paying attention, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David laughed. “We can turn it off and go to bed if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “No. I like watching you watch the news. You get so passionate about it. Do you remember that time when we were first dating and you stayed the night and I put on Fox News just to piss you off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yes,” he seethed. “Like it was yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack smirked impishly. “You almost broke up with me right then and there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “How was I supposed to know it was a joke?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You ripped the remote out of my hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I’m not sorry about that. If Fox &amp; Friends is on all logic goes out the window. All rules of man.” He kissed Jack’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You’re a nerd.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Am I wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Not at all. I’m not sorry either,” he said. “It was the funniest thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yeah, yeah, you’re hysterical.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  They only got through one more segment before Jack muted the television and nuzzled his neck. “Don’t you love this part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “What part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “The end of the day,” he elaborated. “Lying together. Cuddling. I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David’s heart swelled. Jack always said the sweetest things. He constantly called David a sap and David constantly called him a flirt, but in reality, Jack was just as sappy as David was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yes, I love this part. I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I love you, too. Want to come to the theater in between classes tomorrow? We can have lunch together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “By the way — don’t be mad — your sister called and asked if Chava could sleepover on Saturday. I said yes. I’m sorry, baby, I should’ve asked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David pushed himself up on his elbow and laid his hand flat on Jack’s chest. He leaned in and kissed him slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You never have to apologize for stuff like that. You’re allowed to parent her, Jacky. I know you think I’ll be upset, but I won’t be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack shrugged. “I know, I just don’t want to overstep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You won’t. You couldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Won’t she get mad? Or resent me or some shit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David chuckled. He put his pointer finger in between Jack’s eyebrows and rubbed. He pretended to be focused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “What are you doing?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Trying to rub your worry lines out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “So am I.” He lay back and kissed his cheek again. “She won’t resent you. As long as you…look, I’m not saying try to be her dad, but you’re her step-dad; there’s nothing wrong with acting like it. She’s seven and she can’t be in charge of herself when I’m not around.” He sighed. “You’re a great step-father, Jacky, even if you can’t see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “It’s not that…and thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “What is it, then?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “What if she </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinks</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’m trying to be her dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “She won’t, but if she does, we can sit down and talk to her and discuss what changes we can make. We’re a family, honey. Families have these conversations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “It’s just that kids who have gay parents sometimes want to meet their biological parents when they grow up, right? I mean, most adopted kids have abandonment issues.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “And kids with step-parents sometimes get mad, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Jack–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Well, she has both. Not that she’s adopted, but she’s gotta deal with a dad and a step-dad and no mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David stared at him. “That’s vaguely homophobic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Dave–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “She’s not going to resent you!” He laughed incredulously. “You can tell my sister she can stay the night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “But what if I make a decision and she don’t like it? What if I make a decision and </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “First of all, what kids like decisions adults make? If it’s a big deal we’ll talk about it, but if you tell her she can’t have another piece of candy, I don’t think that’s the end of the world. Second of all, if you make a decision I don’t like, then guess what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He sighed. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I talk to you. I reverse the decision. We make a new plan. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He stroked Jack’s chest. “How long has this been bothering you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He shrugged. “Don’t know. A little bit always, but a lot these last few weeks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Because I've been busy and you’re home with her a lot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He nodded. David wasn’t sure what to feel. His throat felt thick and his eyes stung. He knew he was jumping to conclusions, but he couldn’t but think one thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Do you not want to be alone with her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “What? Baby, no! No, it’s not like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Then what is it like?” David wiped a stray tear away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack folded him into his chest and said “It’s all about the parenting thing. Christ, Dave, I always want to spend time with her. I love her so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I don’t want to force her on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Are you kidding me right now? You don’t. You never have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Okay,” he sighed, feeling a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Shh. It’s okay. You’re sensitive about it. I’m not offended.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “You didn’t,” Jack swore. “Not for a second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I know you love her. I don’t doubt that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I know you know. I swear, it’s just about being in charge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Okay.” He sniffled. “I wish you would’ve told me a long time ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack turned off the muted television. “It didn’t make much of a difference until recently. Honestly, I didn’t even notice I was feeling that way. I was meaning to talk to you about it, but you’ve just been so busy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I’m never too busy to talk about that kind of thing. I’m never too busy for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  Jack raised an eyebrow. “That’s not true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David snorted. “Me writing an essay and you trying to get me to make out with you is different. I’m talking about things you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to make out with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I meant when I do that, but yeah, couldn't hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  He laughed. “I love you, you dork.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>“I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> the dork? Who spent his birthday watching a documentary about whales?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “They were belugas, Jack! I had to!” he joked. “And liking what I like unashamedly doesn’t make me a dork.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Yeah, it does, because what you like is dorky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “I like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  “Would you shut up and kiss me already? Christ, you–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  The conversation ended rather abruptly, but neither of them were about to complain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  In many ways, David thought while he lay in bed later with Jack asleep on his shoulder, it had been an odd evening. His bad day, being late for dinner, Chava going to bed so willingly, their talk. All of those things were unusual. It had been average in many ways, too. They’d put Chava to bed, they’d taken care of each other, they’d cuddled on the couch, they’d made out like teenagers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>  David smiled to himself. Jack snored, just once, and he stifled his laughter. This was the life he’d always wanted but never imagined he could have. He was stressed, sure, and Jack was pushing him to discuss changing some things, but he didn’t want to worry about that while he lay there. Instead, he thought about his daughter sleeping down the hall and his husband sleeping right next to him. He fell asleep listening to the faint sound of Chava’s white noise machine and enjoying Jack’s warmth. The rest of the world could be dealt with tomorrow.</span>
</p>
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